Tuesday, June 3, 2014

Top Five Problems with Frozen

By now, every parent knows about the movie "Frozen" and their kids probably have memorized all the songs. Each of us at one time out in public, have heard a girl between toddler and elementary school age belt out "Let it Go!" The film is the highest-grossing animated film of all time and the fifth highest-grossing film of all time, with $1.23 billion in revenue. The merchandise from the movie is so hot that Disney stores have limited the purchases to two items per guest and a limit of 1 item per guest for Anna and Elsa costumes!

Caden with "Elsa".
Luckily, in our case Eloise is too young to know about "Frozen" and while Caden did see it in the theater (his first movie) and twice on DVD, he has not totally obsessed with the movie (yet). The movie is wonderful with songs that stick in your head and positive messages (family love, strong female characters, living without fear of what others think). However, since the movie is everywhere and anywhere right now, I have five questions about the premise of the movie. All angry e-mails and tweets can be sent to realsahdla@gmail.com or @TheRealSAHDLA. 

1. Why doesn't the family send Anna to boarding school?
It is obvious that Elsa is the creative and talented one in the family. Instead of holding her prisoner in her own castle and ostracizing her from sister, why not send Anna to boarding school and nurture Elsa's talents and let her flourish? Instead, they lock Elsa in the castle; give her the gift of agoraphobia and leads to her going ballistic on her kingdom when she becomes the Queen. Boarding school may have also taught Anna not to get engaged to the first prince who comes calling! Of course, since this is a Disney film, the parents die on a sinking ship later in the movie.

2. If the trolls erased Anna's memories how does she remember to build a snowman?
Allegedly, the magical trolls erased Anna's memories of her sister's magic, which consisted of making ice and snow and of course a snowman. However, in a subsequent scene Anna sings "Do You Want to Build a Snowman?" So did the trolls do a terrible job or is that movie just trying to get us to choke up early in the movie with this tear jerking song?

3. Why do certain characters have accents while others do not?
The movie is set in a village named Arendelle, supposedly in Norway in the 1800s. The characters Oaken and the Duke of Weselton seem to have some sort of Norweigian/Nordic accent while everyone else let's say has an American accent. Is it too much to ask that everyone in this small area have the same type of accent?

4. The monster in the movie is called "Snowball" and is unleashed on Anna?
The terrifying monster in the movie is called Snowball (we have to fast forward this part for Caden.) In the movie, Snowball terrifies Anna and her friend/guide Kristoff. If Anna and Elsa are loving sisters, why does all powerful Elsa allow Snowball to attack Anna?

5. When Hans tells the "brain trust" that Anna is dead, that he married Anna right before she died and they should sentence Elsa to death, no one objects?
Seriously, Hans swoops out of nowhere (the youngest of 14 boys), Anna leaves him in charge of the Arendelle and then begins to make huge decisions like killing the Queen? Of course, after his plan his foiled, Anna punches Hans, everyone applauds, everyone is happy again and order is restored.

In all seriousness, it is a wonderful and sweet movie that will probably be shown at our house another 100 times or until the DVD fails (damn you Disney!) Of course, as all parents have realized I need to "Let it Go!"